You guys! I cooked. For real. Like, with the stove and everything. Check it out:
1. Make some penne pasta.
2. Saute chicken in olive oil.
3. Remove chicken, add more olive oil, throw in asparagus, garlic, crushed red pepper.
4. Cook chicken and asparagus together for a couple minutes.
5. Mix with pasta. Throw on some Parmesan cheese and you're done (Texas Toast optional).
I know it's not gourmet or anything. But I made an entire meal without using the microwave. ALERT THE MEDIA.