Tuesday, January 22, 2008

I am, I am, I am Superman. And I can do anything.

This morning on the radio, the DJ was talking about how a lot more people are going green when they die. Not like, turning green, which I imagine sometimes happens, but being all environmentally conscious when they choose their final resting place. Apparently this means instead of a cement thingie, you get something else (I was not using 100% of my paying attention skills, in case you can't tell) and instead of using formaldehyde, you use dry ice. And probably some other stuff, too. And the DJ was like, "I think this is excessive," and started talking about how he buys the fancy lightbulbs that are good for the environment and rides his bike or rollerblades or a hoverboard or something, but he thinks going green when you die is dumb because there are already a lot of dead people buried and he doesn't understand how NOT going green when you die affects the environment. And even though I don't really understand the particulars, I was all, "What the crap, DJ? If you don't know what you're talking about then shut UP because you are on the radio and, I don't know if you know this, but a lot of people can hear you." At least when I babble on and on about stuff I don't really know anything about, my audience is a lot smaller.

And anyway. I think everyone should be cremated, if only so they can't one day rise from the grave and start The Zombie Apocalypse. And I think we all know that, providing there's not a rage-monkey outbreak, that's how it's all going down.

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Today on The Collective, PROCRASTINATORS OF THE WORLD, UNITE!

8 comments:

  1. One of my roommates is strangely adamant about having a green burial. She just wants to be lowered into the ground and covered in some dirt and she doesn't want a headstone. I thinks she might be taking it a little too far.

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  2. Jewish burrials are pretty green. No fancy boxes or liners - only a pine box which will go away one day along with your remains (as long as you dont have long pink synthetic nails that look like fritos nail crisps- those never go away)

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  3. Ashley, I'm still going with the cremation. I don't want to come back as a zombie.

    Tamara, I don't understand the fancy boxes anyway. Um, it gets buried in the ground.

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  4. NO ZOMBIES!! Burn me to a crisp and sprinkle me somewhere out in the wild and pretty. My mom TOTALLY freaked out when we had this discussion, and she's trying to say that -- as my mother -- she has some right to decide how my body should be disposed of should I ever *gasp* die someday. Seriously, she started crying and freaking out and wouldn't even finish talking about it.

    Wow, great story, Shari. Shut up now.

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  5. I heard that too. They said instead of being buried in a casket it would be a pine box. Man Tamara, you Jews are ahead of the game!

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  6. Shari, never shut up. Hee.

    Heidi, I'd convert if it weren't for the whole naked bath thing.

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  7. yeah the naked bath was a SITUATION. Did I mention it was in the ghetto?

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  8. I've been on the cremation train ever since I had to read an essay back in high school about the industry that surrounds funerals. I think when we got to the part about plastic forms that hold up eyelids and cheeks, I said, "Burn me!" Can you imagine being the salesman for those products?!

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