As I'm sure you all know, last night was President Bush's last State of the Union address. EVER. Like . . . no more. He's done. Well, with state-of-the-unioning anyway. We're so close to the end, you guys. I remember way back in 2004, when he'd just been reelected and I was bitter. Oh so bitter. It seemed like this day would never come. I was all, "FOUR MORE YEARS OF THIS CRAP I CAN'T DO IT AARRHHREWERDHFSDF." For real, that is what I said, but I might have misspelled that last part.
Still, I didn't watch it. One, because I was at someone else's house and I thought if I watched it I might accidentally punch a rage-hole in their wall or TV and I can't afford to fix that and TWO, because I had just finished watching United 93 which GUESS WHAT was a huge mistake because I sobbed like crazy through the majority of it. What I was thinking, I don't know, but do you know what I DO know? My gym played that movie in the Cardio Cinema one time and I stayed far, far away that night because this other time? They showed Hotel Rwanda and I had to leave the room because, yes, these are both good movies, but do they make you want to work out? No. They make you want to throw yourself under the treadmill which PROBABLY wouldn't even kill you. You'd just end up with this mangled, claw hand or something and people would be like, "What happened to your hand?" and you'd stare into space and get this faraway, haunted look in your eye and whisper, ". . . Hotel Rwanda."
So, no, I did not watch the chimp last night, but I have been paying more and more attention to the upcoming election. You know. The big one. I tried not to pay much attention at first, because it seemed too soon and also The Daily Show was off the air on account of the strike and I don't know how I can be expected to know what to think if Jon Stewart doesn't tell me (note to my Republican family members - that was a joke). I know who I'm voting for in the primary and hope that's who I'll end up voting for in the presidential election, but I'm afraid to get my hopes up. Especially after last time, when I wallowed in soul-crushing defeat for a good month or two.
Speaking of the government, today on The Collective, Abigail tells you why she hates it and why you should, too.