here is the church and here is the steeple, we sure are cute for two ugly people

So it looks so nice and sunny outside and like you could wear shorts and flip flops and a t-shirt and you'd be fine. You might even be too hot.

BUT DON'T BE FOOLED, because in reality, it is -900 degrees outside.

Right now, I'm waiting for everyone to wake up. Heidi is still sleeping and Mary is crashed on the sofa and I'm afraid to go make coffee because I might wake her up. Mary, not Heidi. Heidi wouldn't wake up if a munchkin parade marched through her room. I wish they'd wake up, though, because A) I'm bored, B) I'm hungry, and C) Phoebe won't stop meowing her fool head off and I think it's because she wants me to open the blinds in the living room so she can prostrate herself in the middle of room and bask in the sunlight. And also chase the sun reflections on the ceiling, because she's not very smart. But I CAN'T open the blinds because they're so loud and also the sunshine? It is bright and wakey and I'm OK with everyone waking up but I can't MAKE them wake up because what an asshole thing to do, right? And I know I'm sort of an asshole (sort of?) but if anyone woke ME up, I'd punch them square in the nut and not feel bad about it one bit.

I wonder if I can will them to wake up. Hold on, let me concentrate.

Nope. Still sleeping. Maybe I should just get back in bed, but that seems crazy because I've already brushed my teeth AND it's almost noon and I'm sure there's stuff I need to do today.

LIKE DRINK COFFEE AND EAT OH MY GOD I'M SO HUNGRY AND UNDERCAFFEINATED.

I hope I live through this. If not, it was nice knowing all of you.